I've been going through the motions, walking through the part

I try not to go into extreme detail about my job very often on this blog because, hello, I don't want to get fired. But I've encountered a situation recently that I've never been in before, and I don't really know what to do about it or how to approach it - and I need to get it off my chest somehow, and there's no one I can really talk about it with.

So I've been pulled into a lot of meetings lately with New Boss. (There are always other coworkers present; it's never just a one-on-one.) These are often difficult due to the fact that I'm on the phone and the majority of participants are in the same room; I often find myself staying quiet and just trying to figure out who's talking. This has been pointed out to me, however, with the gentle suggestion that I need to start volunteering more, so I've been making the effort lately to express my opinions and put forth suggestions.

Here, then, is the crux of the situation: New Boss basically dismisses every contribution I make, even if they're passing comments. I don't know if this is just part of her personality (she can be pretty abrasive sometimes), or if it's a reflection of her (lack of) esteem for me. But it's troubling me. And, as I've discovered, she and I are always at completely opposite ends of the spectrum on everything.

A totally made-up example that illustrates what my interactions with her are like:

Drew: Wow, the Pike was really crowded today - I think it was bumper-to-bumper the whole way in.

New Boss: I wouldn't say it was bumper-to-bumper the whole way in. There had to have been areas where the traffic was flowing. You should investigate a new way to drive in.

-Or-

Drew: I disagree, I think the question proved that there's actually interest in that point. We can use it as differentiation; it's not a detractor like we thought.

New Boss: Well, naturally we're going to think that every question means there's interest. I think we should take it out.

I talked about this with The Officemate briefly after New Boss spent two days either blatantly ignoring me or answering me condescendingly.

"I think she thinks I'm retarded," I said, but The Officemate assures me that's not the case. And honestly, I don't think it's that I'm out of my league. I'm pretty good at my job. The three of us had a brainstorming meeting with the CEO on Tuesday and he and I were in synch on a lot of the slides, often building off of each other and agreeing on key messaging.

I don't know anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of never knowing the right thing to say or do. I'm tired of trying.

And sadly, that's starting to extend to my personal life, too.