I'm about to commence a busy 6 weeks and I'm really fucking dreading it. The last few weeks have already been busy, but the next few are about to get insane, and I honestly don't know if I'm up for it.
I'm going to Boston tomorrow morning for the week for some planning/strategy meetings (I'm getting headlights, yo!), and then I have exactly two weeks from today to completely rewrite all of our marketing collateral, presentations, proposal templates, and website content.
Then, in two weeks, it's off to Boston for another week for a sales & marketing summit, followed by:
- Orlando
- St. Petersburg
- Las Vegas
- San Francisco
The absolute worst part about traveling? How easy it is to skip working out and eat the crap food that's also so readily available - particularly when in Boston, where they have a seemingly endless supply of sandwiches, pizza, and soda on hand.
In the meantime, I have apparently expanded my job description to database administrator and have spent the last two days fighting to extract data from one system and get it into another, with no success.
This is why I drink, people. Because my job has consumed my life.
And because I actually dreamt last night about CSV files and APIs.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The latest in corporate mumbo-jumbo bullshit
Headlights.
And no, it's not a euphimism for tits, although it would be awesome if half of my company were walking around saying that.
"Headlights" is an abbreviated way of conveying that you have to give someone advance notice on something. "A heads up," if you will.
Sample usage that I've heard this week:
1. "So we're slipping the 8.0 release to late June? We already promised the customer base that it would be end of May, so we'll have to give them headlights before then."
2. "Just give me some headlights on what you think the panel content will consist of."
3. "If we're rewriting all of the collateral prior to the April meeting, Drew's going to need headlights on the new product definition by Monday or we'll miss the date."
It kind of makes you die a little bit inside, doesn't it?
And no, it's not a euphimism for tits, although it would be awesome if half of my company were walking around saying that.
"Headlights" is an abbreviated way of conveying that you have to give someone advance notice on something. "A heads up," if you will.
Sample usage that I've heard this week:
1. "So we're slipping the 8.0 release to late June? We already promised the customer base that it would be end of May, so we'll have to give them headlights before then."
2. "Just give me some headlights on what you think the panel content will consist of."
3. "If we're rewriting all of the collateral prior to the April meeting, Drew's going to need headlights on the new product definition by Monday or we'll miss the date."
It kind of makes you die a little bit inside, doesn't it?
Friday, March 14, 2008
Bitches get stuff done
While on a mission last night to procure this trench coat (the last one in all of New York, and it happened to be my size - medium!), I was flipping through this week's issue of Newsweek on the subway.
I know most people in my age range and social circle don't read it, but I always enjoy Newsweek. This week's issue features 13 essays by women, all about Hillary Clinton. And it's fascinating.
Like most, I saw the clip of Tina Fey's famous SNL declaration that "bitch is the new black." What really struck me last night, though, was seeing one of the aforementioned 13 writers quote it in her essay. Without Fey's delivery, and without the context of SNL, it actually comes off as really moving - and quite true:
FEY: Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch. Let me say something about that: yeah, she is. So am I, and so is this one. [Points to Amy Poehler]
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: You know what, bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests. Those nuns are mean old clams and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you. And at the end of the school year you hated those bitches but you knew the capital of Vermont. So I'm saying it's not too late, Texas and Ohio, bitch is the new black!
The essay writer, Deidre Depke, asserts that when the media attacks Hillary (and they do; her positive press coverage from December to mid-February was 53% compared to Obama's 83%, according to a non-partisan analysis), it's women - particularly white and Latina women - who jump to her defense through their votes, saving her in New Hampshire, Ohio, and Texas. So, Depke says, unless the press wants to get Hillary elected, they better kill the sarcastic one-liners and the caustic sound bites, or the pissed off women of America are gonna make sure that come January 2009, HRC is the HBIC.
And hey, I'm fine with that. Most gay men I know - and even gay men whose blogs I read - are for Hillary. It's not so strange; everyone knows the gays love a strong woman. And I think Fey, for all her comedic posturing, is absolutely correct:
It's because bitches get stuff done.
I know most people in my age range and social circle don't read it, but I always enjoy Newsweek. This week's issue features 13 essays by women, all about Hillary Clinton. And it's fascinating.
Like most, I saw the clip of Tina Fey's famous SNL declaration that "bitch is the new black." What really struck me last night, though, was seeing one of the aforementioned 13 writers quote it in her essay. Without Fey's delivery, and without the context of SNL, it actually comes off as really moving - and quite true:
FEY: Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch. Let me say something about that: yeah, she is. So am I, and so is this one. [Points to Amy Poehler]
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: You know what, bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests. Those nuns are mean old clams and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you. And at the end of the school year you hated those bitches but you knew the capital of Vermont. So I'm saying it's not too late, Texas and Ohio, bitch is the new black!
The essay writer, Deidre Depke, asserts that when the media attacks Hillary (and they do; her positive press coverage from December to mid-February was 53% compared to Obama's 83%, according to a non-partisan analysis), it's women - particularly white and Latina women - who jump to her defense through their votes, saving her in New Hampshire, Ohio, and Texas. So, Depke says, unless the press wants to get Hillary elected, they better kill the sarcastic one-liners and the caustic sound bites, or the pissed off women of America are gonna make sure that come January 2009, HRC is the HBIC.
And hey, I'm fine with that. Most gay men I know - and even gay men whose blogs I read - are for Hillary. It's not so strange; everyone knows the gays love a strong woman. And I think Fey, for all her comedic posturing, is absolutely correct:
It's because bitches get stuff done.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Things that delight me
To balance out yesterday's mini-rant, today I present...
Currently #3 on my List of Things That Delight Me:
This piece of gossip about Marc Jacobs Starfucker (and horribly tattooed Mariah Carey fan) Jason Preston.
Apparently he got the shit beat out of him in the street outside of Hiro on Sunday night after he defended some poor girl who was the accidental victim of a thrown drink intended for some guy.
1. I know it was the right thing for him to do, but in cases of such blatant attention whores, I always suspect an ulterior motive;
2. If you've ever seen this douche strut around a club like he's on a runway (while surreptitiously checking to see if anyone's noticed him), you'd agree that he sort of had it coming;
3. I know what Benjie would say: Ugh, just what we need, another crying straight girl at a gay club. Why was she even there?
Currently #3 on my List of Things That Delight Me:
This piece of gossip about Marc Jacobs Starfucker (and horribly tattooed Mariah Carey fan) Jason Preston.
Apparently he got the shit beat out of him in the street outside of Hiro on Sunday night after he defended some poor girl who was the accidental victim of a thrown drink intended for some guy.
1. I know it was the right thing for him to do, but in cases of such blatant attention whores, I always suspect an ulterior motive;
2. If you've ever seen this douche strut around a club like he's on a runway (while surreptitiously checking to see if anyone's noticed him), you'd agree that he sort of had it coming;
3. I know what Benjie would say: Ugh, just what we need, another crying straight girl at a gay club. Why was she even there?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Currently #4 on my list of things that piss me off
Today's pet peeve:
People who don't understand the difference between "EST" and "EDT," so they use "EST" all year round because they think it stands for "EaSTern time."
Or something stupid like that.
Eastern Standard Time and Eastern Daylight Time. Daylight Saving Time began last weekend, so it's now EDT.
Why is this difficult?
On a related note: Daylight SAVING Time. Not SAVINGS. It ain't a bank, people.
God, I can't wait til I start writing my cranky old man letters to the editor.
People who don't understand the difference between "EST" and "EDT," so they use "EST" all year round because they think it stands for "EaSTern time."
Or something stupid like that.
Eastern Standard Time and Eastern Daylight Time. Daylight Saving Time began last weekend, so it's now EDT.
Why is this difficult?
On a related note: Daylight SAVING Time. Not SAVINGS. It ain't a bank, people.
God, I can't wait til I start writing my cranky old man letters to the editor.
Friday, March 07, 2008
'cause you asked for it, 'cause you need one
I'm back from yet another crazy week of meetings and insanity in Boston, and it's Friday night and I'm still working in a vain attempt to "catch up," but all I can think about is this song, which has invaded my brain unlike any other song in recent memory.
I've been humming the damn thing since Monday, so I finally downloaded it today in an effort to GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
I've been humming the damn thing since Monday, so I finally downloaded it today in an effort to GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
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